sorry,

i understand what you are saying, and i always have.
the reason i act like this sometimes is because i feel like i am constantly suffering everyday
why?
i have yet to figure that out, and even though i blaming it on not having 'real friends', i don't believe that is truly why,
sometimes i wonder if i am just plain crazy.
it's like my mind, my body, and actions are not fully connected, and i do things that i feel are disrespectful
but what do you expect, you know?
when i have been growing up in the enviroment i am in,(homophobic, careless people, etc)

i have a lack of self control

my stress level has increased also, that may be another reason
you are lucky to have a strong mind
because i will have never have that

it's hard, you know?
everything comes back to myself
i know that too

learning something is easy
changing is hard

i just want you to know though, i will never hurt you again
i may call you names, but even though i know it sounds bad
it makes me feel better if you just leave me alone when i get like this
time is important i guess

my actions

my way of interacting,
i guess people will never understand

sorry